I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
