Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize