so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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