Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
