...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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