This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
