so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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