I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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