About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize