I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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