Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
