walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
