Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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