Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
