I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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