; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
