When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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