I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
