It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
