You can't special order awesome
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
