i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
