Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We are two peas in an std pod
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
