If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize