i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
