New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
