Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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