Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
