Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize