We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
