I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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