So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
