I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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