Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
