He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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