I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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