I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Someone shattered a urinal.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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