I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
