Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize