haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize