it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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