I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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