i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Barsexuality is the new black.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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