I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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