This girl is more easily done than said...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
