We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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