he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
