You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
