he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
