Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
