Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
sarcasm needs its own font
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
