He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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