PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
