I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
