I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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